Cappuccett Red

DISVASTIGO

Capuccett Red ovvero Cappuccetto Rosso in italenglish

Graziano Ricagno di Mantova ci segnala questa scherzosa profezia sul futuro dell’italiano

One mattin her mamma dissed

Dear Cappuccett, take this cest to the nonn, but attention to the lup
that is very ma very kattiv! And torn prest! Good luck! And in bocc at the
lup!'.

Cappuccett didn't cap very well this ultim thing but went away, da sol,
with the cest.

Cammining cammining, in the cuor of the forest, at acert punt she
incontered the lup, who dissed: 'Hi! Piccula piezz'egirl! 'Ndove do you
go?'.
'To the nonn with this little cest, which is little but it is full of a
sacc of chocolate and biscots and panettons and more and mirtills', she
dissed.
'Ah, mannagg 'a Maruschella (maybe an expression com: what a bottom
that had) dissed the lup, with a fium of saliv out of the bocc.
And so the lup dissed: 'Beh, now I dev andar because the telephonin is
squilling, sorry.' And the lup went away, but not very away, but to the nonn's House.
Cappuccett Red, who was very ma very lent, lent un casin, continued
for her sentier in the forest.
The lup arrived at the house, suoned the campanel, entered, and after
saluting the nonn, magned her in a boccon.
Then, after sputing the dentier, he indossed the ridicol night berret
and fikked himself in the let.
When Cappuccett Red came to the fint nonn's house, suoned and entered.
But when the little and stupid girl saw the nonn (non was the nonn, but
the lup, ricord?) dissed: 'But nonn, why do you stay in let?'.
And the nonn-lup: 'Oh, I've stort my cavigl doing aerobics!'.
'Oh, poor nonn!', said Cappuccett (she was more than stupid, I think,
wasn't she?).
Then she dissed: 'But...what big okks you have! Do you bisogn some
collir?'.
'Oh, no! It's for see you better, my dear (stupid) little girl', dissed
the nonn-lup.
Then cappuccett, who was more dur than a block of marm: 'But what big
oreks you have! Do you have the Orekkions?'.
And the nonn-lup: 'Oh, no! It is to ascolt you better'.
And Cappuccett (that I think was now really imbambited) said: 'But what
big dents you have!'.
And the lup, at this point dissed: 'It is to magn you better!'. And
magned really tutt quant the poor little girl.
But (ta dah!) out of the house a simpatic, curious and innocent
cacciator of frod sented all and dissed: 'Accident! A lup! Its pellicc
vals a sac of solds'.
And so, spinted only for the compassion for the little girl, butted a
terr many kils of volps, fringuells and conigls that he had ammazzed till
that moment, imbracced the fucil, entered in the stanz and killed the lup.
Then squarced his panz (being attent not to rovin the pellicc) and tired
fora the nonn (still viv) and Cappuccett (still imbambited).
And so, at the end, the cacciator of frod vended the pellicc and
guadagned honestly a sacc of solds. The nonn magned tutt the leccornies
that were in the cest. And so, everybody lived felix and content (maybe
not the lup!).

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